The Cat that Wasn’t
My guess is it was 2003. The more I learned about God, the more I felt I wasn’t really living it. One day the great challenge came, trusting Him!
Kasper was my favorite cat, a black Manx; he was so special and always seemed to know when I needed a hug. When he ran around the yard he reminded me of a bear cub. I kept a very close watch over him, always afraid something could happen to him.
So on this day I had to run to the little village next to us real quick and when jumping in my car I saw Kasper on the outside of the fence heading towards the road. Even though I was late, I got out of the car and grabbed him and put him on the porch, said my little prayer for him, and went on my way.
Driving down the road, the little small voice, or maybe was it even the enemy?, said, “Everything is in a certain order, when you interrupt it, you are out of God’s will”. I thought about it and knew I wasn’t trusting God with my prayers for Kasper’s protection. All of a sudden I was scared that I had interfered with God’s plan and now I had to pray for God’s forgiveness and adjustment.
When I came home later on, I had stayed away much longer than anticipated, there was a catfight under the truck parked next to me. The moment I walked toward the house a black cat ran right in front of me and towards the road.
Instinctively I wanted to drop my stuff and run after the critter; it all happened so fast that I didn’t even know which cat had just almost ran me over. In that moment something happened and even though it seemed like a very long moment, it probably was just a split-second. It went like this:
“Now are you trusting Me or not?”
“Yes Lord, but…”
“Trust Me and fear not.”
“Lord, but I’m afraid.”
“Enough now.”
“Lord, I’m sorry. I will trust You. I need to. Now!”
I was still standing at the garden gate and a long line of bushes hindered my view to the road. And there it was, the disgusting sound, “blubb”, the car ran over the cat. Frozen, in disbelief, sick, I still stood in that same spot. “God???”
Then I slowly moved towards the road, my heart almost jumping out of my throat, thoughts going crazy. “Which cat? Is he dead? What if he is not? Which one would hurt less to find?” and on and on. I carefully looked and the hope turned into reality; yes, it was a cat and it was dead. As I looked closer, I could only scream in disbelief and the pain seemed overwhelming.
It was Kasper. Out of all the cats I never dreamed it could have been him; he wasn’t a fighter. I was screaming my lungs out and all I could say was, “Why, Lord, why? Oh, I killed him. I’m so sorry, Lord. I killed him. I messed up Your plan and Your timing and I didn’t trust Your provision when I left the house earlier. I killed him!”.
After I got a hold of myself I knew I needed to pick Kasper up and get him off the road. I was grossed out by death and for a moment I thought about getting some gloves or even a shovel. And then I changed my mind and thought that I needed to pick him up with bare hands, no matter how gross his guts would be hanging out underneath.
I took a deep breath and picked him up. It was in that moment that the previous hidden tail flopped out from under the cat and I stared at a dead cat named Kasper that had just grown a tail. It took me a moment to realize that it wasn’t who I thought it was; then all of a sudden it clicked. It was a cat that I had never seen before. Not one of mine.
I laid the cat off to the side of the road and ran to the house. Kasper was on the porch greeting me and I joyfully yelled, “Kasper!” I cried in total exhaustion, tears of joy. As I hugged Kasper and carried him into the house, he licked my face and my tears. He licked my hands and rubbed on me like he never had before.
When I set him down, he stood up and wanted to be held again so he could lick my face some more. I cannot describe this moment; it was so unreal. It was like God Himself was licking my tears and wanting to comfort me and was showing me His love.
This went on for probably thirty minutes until I finally put Kasper down and said, “Wow, God, is this You?” I just knew God used Kasper to show me His affection. I learned a huge lesson that day and started trusting God a whole lot more.
What really had happened was that my desire for more of God in me (remember my dissatisfaction with my spiritual life in the beginning), was fulfilled. Faith went from an abstract to a tangible, from thinking/expecting to knowing! God granted me manifestation of my faith, something that had been stirring my heart and I did not know what it was.
This is a true story and with sharing it I am aware that someone could get the wrong idea here. Please do not ever test your God and rely on this story, but know that our Lord deals with every individual differently. I know today that in the moment I described earlier I was under the power of God, even though I believe I had free will. Do not ever endanger life out of your own ambition, as a sacrifice, or to prove something to God!