A Worship Leader’s Story

A new journey begins
Ten years down the road of learning how to be a Christian, God put the desire in my heart to do more for Him. There wasn’t too much opportunity I saw (I’m sure opportunity was there, but I didn’t see it) where I lived, so I took matters in my own hand and asked for the vacuum cleaner at church. It was a beginning and at that time a big sacrifice for me to give “my precious time”. Cleaning, the vacuum cleaner spat out all the confetti from the previous Easter Celebration, over and over and over again. Needless to say the job took me three times as long as anticipated. I think the Lord was really testing my patience and determination that day; I stood the test! I could hardly believe how good it felt to work in the House of the Lord; I remember feeling deeply satisfied driving home.

Anything is possible with Him
God knew my desire and at the end of the year He told our pastor that I was supposed to lead the praise and worship in our Sunday services. The first week of the new year I started being the worship leader of our little mountain church.  A German, who never learned music in school, didn't even know what a chord was (!), being very limited on songs due to language and upbringing and here I was standing in front of the congregation leading worship. (Philippians 4:13) The pastor and his wife diligently helped me learn to sing (keep a tune) and write the music sheets for the musicians. During the week we would get together and rehearse as long as needed for me to get the songs into my system.  
I believe it must have been hard for the pastor’s wife to see “her” ministry falling to pieces and being butchered by a novice, but she did an excellent job serving the Lord in serving me. She never tried to take over and patiently followed my lead; it taught me a great deal what humility is all about! Thank you, pastor’s wife, for being so obedient to the Lord!

Teacher and guide
By March the pastor’s wife made the suggestion that I should consider learning the piano, because it was hard to follow a voice as a lead instrument. Everybody had tried their best to make this calling possible; I was singing, the pastor followed me on the guitar and by doing that became the leader to the other guitars and the piano player. I believe it was a chore for everybody involved and I am very thankful for all their patience and perseverance. I asked our piano player if she could help me out, but she said she was self-taught and wouldn’t know how. I prayed God would send somebody to teach me, since I was living far away from any piano teacher. He did! About two weeks after, He stirred up my curiosity and I looked up a piano chord chart on the internet. I had been writing the chord sheets for the musicians for the last couple of months and all of a sudden everything looked so logical. I drove over to church and tried the piano and of course I was not cut out for the task. Getting my fingers lined up with the piano keys and at the same time coordinated with my voice seemed rather impossible, but God! Twenty-four hours later I sang along with the piano ‘Turn your eyes upon Jesus’, my first song ever played.(Ephesians 3:20)
Three weeks later I lead the worship service on the piano, not necessarily pretty – but I did! The songs were His choice, like always, so it became my new week’s mission to learn to play and to sing the songs for the next service. It took up every free minute and I loved it. My husband found me an old piano at a thrift store and brought it home. Now I was practicing before coffee in the morning or late at night, whenever possible.
About two months into leading on the piano we had a group of visitors show up for Sunday service. I started freaking out. What was I supposed to do? We never had visitors. They wouldn’t understand my playing. What would they think? Why did nobody tell me about this? I threw the pastor, who apparently knew the visitors, a helpless and pleading look. No answer; I had to make a decision. I did what I had to do, I ignored their presence and prayed that God would help me do what He called me to do and that I would not get nervous or sidetracked and stumble. I sat down at the piano and played just to Him; I forgot everything around me and what people would think. After the church service was over and everybody had left, the Pastor told me that one of the visitors was an Evangelist from Florida. He had told our pastor, “That woman truly worships the Lord”. What a sweet present the Lord gave me that morning, because I was still thinking that it sounded terrible.

The songs are coming
Never in the entire time of my leading worship did I ever pick a song on my own! I had about a thirty minute drive to work and leaving the driveway I started singing, skipping to the next song and to the next, till I had about seven together. It didn’t take me long to figure out that it must have been the Lord and these were my songs for Sunday. So I stopped and wrote them down, amazed at what just happened. Same thing happened almost every Monday from then on. Sometimes it was just words, other times just a part of a melody, and since I lacked a lot of info I tried to hold on to what I had till I came to the next phone. There I would call my pastor and ask him “Do you know this melody?” or I would google the word I got and find the song that belonged to it. It was exciting to solve the puzzles and amazing to see the outcome, because most of the time the songs were so timely to either the sermon or people’s needs.(2 Corinthians 12:9a) I think back on that time quite often and even though it cost me every spare minute I had, it was the most fulfilling time in my life. I only remember a couple of times where the songs came in a different way.

Our provider
One Monday I just kept getting songs and I was thinking to myself that I must have had my mind set wrong. When I looked at my song collection I counted fifteen. Prayerfully I sorted them out and made two music sheets and when I was done it felt right, I was just not sure what the second sheet was for. I took them both to church, just in case, but we only needed the one sheet. The following week was crazy with animal emergencies, flooding, extra work shifts, not a minute to rest and no songs on Monday morning. Wow! I realized God already knew and provided ahead of time. This experience gave me the chills, to know how involved God really gets in our everyday lives when we let Him.(Philippians 4:19)
The only other time I didn’t get the music was a long week listening and not hearing anything. That Sunday we didn’t have set music, but I let everybody in the congregation pick songs and we sang a cappella. After the time I had spent with the Lord throughout this year I would have not dared to pick my own songs and take over. I never got confirmation for my choosing, but in my heart I felt like it was the right thing to do.
Looking back on that time I never felt more inadequate and still I had a peace about Sunday mornings because if God put me there I knew He would provide for my needs.

A very special service
At the end of the worship service I felt prompted to ask everybody to a call out the name of Jesus, getting real personal with the Lord, loving on Him.  It took a moment since we usually didn’t do anything like that, but soon everybody let loose and individually sang a love song to Jesus by just calling out His name. The Lord answered with a strong whirling, whistling wind surrounding the church building as soon as we stopped singing. It felt like the Lord was hugging the church and its congregation, like He was giving us His approval and loving us back. It was so precious to me in so many ways.

Taking a long break
After a long trip back home to say good-bye to my earthly dad, God made me take a break from leading worship and during my time of grief He loved on me at the piano. I felt empty from the loss, a violent death, and on top of it my music ministry was taken from me, but the Lord filled the void. I remember sitting at the piano for hours just staring at the keys, sometimes playing a praise song, but mostly staring. And then for the first time my fingers started playing notes instead of chords, I didn’t do a thing. I thought to myself, “Hmm, that sounded nice.” So I wrote the melody down as letters, since I didn’t know how to write notes. I started playing them daily. It was kind of a Jewish melody and I was holding on to it for dear life day after day.  After a while I started receiving words along with the melody. Soon after I got another sequence of notes, just like I got them the first time, by doing nothing! It sure didn’t go like one would expect; the middle part of the song came first, then the beginning, then the chorus and then the end. All fit wonderfully together at the end and the title of the song is ‘All is well’. About five months later the song was completed and I know God had kept me occupied and it was a very sweet, daily time of fellowship with Him, overcoming my grief.
I believe that God, pulling me out of my daily routine of practicing for Sunday service, opened the doors to new skills and receiving songs. Even though I was heartbroken over my release from worship leader, I trusted God for more to come. In His timing, I tell myself and wait.

A couple of years later
Our city prepared with a bible reading in the park, an event where the bible was read from beginning to end without any time interruption. People from all churches came together and each person was assigned with a scripture portion and a time. After I was finished reading my portion, the lady who had organized this, asked me if I would lead a small worship service the following day when the bible reading would be wrapped up by a prayer meeting. As soon as I got home the songs were coming! I didn’t even have to ask God if I should, He just took over and provided again.

Sum-up
Looking back at this precious time, I still call it the highlight of my Christian walk so far, even though I have seen and experienced myself many miracles in the past. I learned so much in that time and never before or after felt a closer walk with God. To see God at work and seeing Him pick me, the least qualified person for the job, taught me to trust Him completely and to never say never. I am not a very social person in the first place (they call me hermit ;) and I’ve never been a stage person, but today I believe I would not be afraid to speak anywhere or to anybody, because of Him. I also learned that it takes stamina to work for the Lord, for many are the advices of people (I will leave it at that). I know that when the Lord gives me a task, He will also provide and He will never leave me helpless.(Philippians 4:13) There is no need for fear (Romans 8:31) when walking in His will and there is no greater satisfaction than to be used by Him and/or to find His will for one’s life.

One advice
Do not ever limit your potential by telling God what you can do!

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